2008年10月14日星期二

笑破肚皮的语文答卷

笑破肚皮的语文答卷
本文由倍可亲网友[ fkfnew ] 于 2008-6-19 13:20 上贴
原文网址: http://club.backchina.com/main/viewthread.php?tid=681337
高考完了,中考将来...考题千奇百怪,答卷也五花八门。真佩服现在的学生啊,思维跳脱,天马行空,和我们那时候的循规蹈矩,差别太大了,呵呵。看一组语文试卷中的填空题---

1.__________,为伊消得人憔悴
同学答:宽衣解带终不悔
(正解为“衣带渐宽终不悔”,偶承认这个是思想有问题)

2.问渠哪得清如许,__________
同学答:心中自有清泉在
(正解为“唯有源头活水来”,咱还是和水粘了点边~~~)

3.何当共剪西窗烛,__________
同学答:夫妻对坐到天明
(语文老师阅卷时笑晕。后在课堂时说此事,又晕!正解为“却话巴山夜雨时”)

4.蚍蜉撼大树,__________
同学答:一动也不动
(正解为“可笑不自量”。一动也不动,赫赫,很符合事实阿)

5.君子成人之美,__________
同学答:小人夺人所爱
(直接晕死)

6.穷则独善其身,__________
同学答:富则妻妾成群
 (正解:达则兼济天下)

7.__________,天下谁人不识君
同学答:只要貌似萨达姆
(汗....)

8.后宫佳丽三千人,__________
同学答:铁棒也会磨成针~~~~~~
(正解为“三千宠爱在一身”)

9.身有彩凤双飞翼,__________
同学答:拔毛凤凰不如鸡
还有个同学答:夫妻双双把家还
(正解为“心有灵犀一点通”)

10.东边日出西边雨,__________
同学答:床头打架床尾合
还有个同学答:上错花轿嫁对郎

11.__________,糟糠之妻不下堂
同学答:结发之夫不上床
(语文老师暴怒!)

12.但愿人长久,__________
同学答:一颗永流传
(当时狂笑,现在觉得挺经典的。正解为“千里共婵娟”)

13.西塞山前白鹭飞,__________
同学答:东村河边爬乌龟
(对的挺工整的)

14.我劝天公重抖擞,__________
同学答:天公对我吼三吼
(正解为“不拘一格降人才”,龚自珍)

15.天生我才必有用,__________
同学答:关键时刻显神通
又有同学答:老鼠儿子会打洞
(整办公室的语文老师集体毫无形象的狂笑)

16.天若有情天亦老,__________
同学答:人不风流枉少年!
(正解为“月若无恨月长圆” 李贺《金铜仙人辞汉歌》 )

17.洛阳亲友如相问,__________
同学答:请你不要告诉他
(正解为“一片冰心在玉壶”)

18.期末考试出对联, 上联是英雄宝刀未老
  该初三同学对下联为:老娘丰韵尤存

19.良药苦口利于病,__________
同学答:不吃才是大傻瓜
人生自古谁无死,__________
同学答:只是死的有先后
(结局:家长会后被老师留下来训话鸟……)

20.床前明月光,__________
同学答:李白睡的香

21.管中窥豹,__________
同学答:吓我一跳
(哈哈哈!正解为“可见一斑”)

22.__________,飞入寻常百姓家
同学答:康佳彩霸电视机

23.葡萄美酒夜光杯,__________
同学答:金钱美人一大堆

24.__________,路上行人欲断魂
初一学生的杰作:半夜三更鬼敲门

25.还有次考陶渊明的“吾不能为五斗米折腰”,同学填的是“给我六斗就可以”…

26.老吾老以及人之老,__________
同学答:妻吾妻以及人之妻
(老师后来评卷时说那个同学特别具有奉献精神,哈哈)

27.想当年,金戈铁马,__________
同学答:看今朝,死缠烂打
(正解为“气吞万里如虎”)

28.五年级的一次考试就考到了“三个臭皮匠,__________”
同学答:臭味都一样
(把监考和外面的校长笑翻了)

29.初一的学生对对子,“登城白云间揽山色入怀,__________”
同学答:我到酒店去抱小姐上床
(他的语文老师差点当场吐血而亡)

30.两情若是长久时,__________
同学答:该是两人成婚时

31.沉舟侧畔千帆过,__________
同学答:孔雀开屏花样多

32.书到用时方恨少,__________
同学答:钱到月底不够花

33.天若有情天亦老,__________
同学答:人若有情死得早
(正解为“月若无恨月长圆”)

34.人生自古谁无死,__________
同学答:有谁大便不带纸
(没有语言了...)

35.有次考李清照的如梦令,“知否?知否?___________”
同学答:SORRY,SORRY ,I DON'T KNOW...
(正解为“应是绿肥红瘦”)

36.有次考鲁迅先生某句:“___________,我以我血溅轩辕”
同学答:他以他刀插我身

37.语文考试,填空里有一首革命诗:“为人进出的门紧锁着,________________,一个声音高喊着:_________________我渴望自由,但人的身躯怎能从狗洞子里爬出…”
同学答:为狗爬出的洞也锁着 / 他妈的,都锁着!

38.千山万水总是情,___________
同学答:多给一分行不行
(批卷老师对了一句:情是情,分是分,多给一分都不行)


39.高一的时候,一次月考,上句“仰天大笑出门去,(正解)我辈岂是蓬蒿人”。班上有人写:一不小心扭到腰。还有一句,上句:“清水出芙蓉,(正解)天然去雕饰”。有人写,淤泥出莲藕;还有人更绝,写:乱世出英雄

40. 问君能有几多愁,___________
同学答:恰似一壶二锅头
(老师批“你喝多了……”)

2008年9月15日星期一

Thought...

Has been extremely busy lately, and this never happened before (of course not the busy part never happened before). The busy part with a different missions... Perhaps I can say that as missions, or may be not. I used to think that teching may be just a surviving tool for me, and somehow it's not when I was reallyv teaching, and this happened so often that I don't know how to describe it myself. Not until recently, I finally realize that teaching kids especially the tweens and teens is especially rewarding and important.

Seeing them regain their confidents and the willingness to learn, I know, they will be ok in the future. I just wish that all of them will be a better human being and a role models for others, who can really inspire others and help others in need.

Being a teacher or may be others say as an educator, it's not that easy especially you must pull out your heart to these students at the same time you must also be their role models. I just wish that all the teachers are really doing their jobs that they MUST understand that they are nurturing the young minds who are eager to learn and be better persons.

2008年9月9日星期二

Summer!!!

Summer!!! A word that perhaps for most of the people is vacation, but as far as I know for at least the past 9 years, has been fun yet not vacation. I have never been to any places during the summer especially for at least 9 weeks during the supposing fun outdoor season for most of us.

Well, at least those years I have done something that I thought was not meaningful to me at first, turned out to be NOT BAD at all!!! Seeing the changes of the kids, especially when they become better and better... It's really hard to express how it feels like.

It's weired to see that someone you taught used to be so small, and now they are in their young adulthoods. It's hard to believe (am I getting old? - oh well, I am always the same...haha...)

Move Forward, Look Forward, and Think Forward!

2008年7月7日星期一

A great Sunday!

It has been a great Sunday, and I am glad that today it's a day with a lot of fulfillment! I went to 8:30am service for the one last time before the summer school starts, then went to teach or help out for a Sunday School at another churce after the service. It was glad to see the kids again, haven't seen them for months, and they are still very adorable :). The best part was to know the kids' parents and made some new friends.

Later in the afternoon, I went to the HOLY service, it was my first time there after so many months of busy schedule. I love the service with all these talented teenagers, right before the CCHC Youth Crew meeting.

It's amazing that how God has done His work on these kids. They have changed so much! After the meeting, then I continued with my journey for another Seminar - Sharing with parents and students on Time Management. It has been a great day indeed. Meeting people, and helping them to achieve something that maybe important to them.

Even though it was a 14 hours non-stop marathon, it just felt great!

2008年6月28日星期六

What are we looking for?

Are we looking for good life? What is good life? Money? Good career? Good Husband or Wife? Good bf or gf? fame? food? leisure? friends? or whatever they are...

Most of hem used to be mine too! They may be still important, but not that important any more. When I was a kid, I used to have a big dream... if you have seen the movie "Evan Almighty", then you will know what my dream was... should be still is. I never pray for it like Evan in the movie.

My dream has disminished past few years after being in the SOCIETY for a while. It comes back last year, and now I am living for it. Of course, it is not solely the strength of myself, as a human being, I must live it with Faith!

Don't ask me where the Faith come from, ask and seek it yourself, you will find the answer.

We all should have a direction for us to hold onto, a direction that is bg enough for our passion to life to go on. I have seen so many kids are in depression nowadays, and that make me sad. Who's fault is this? Society? May be or may be not? Family? Partially!

A lot of us have too many exceuses. As long as something goes wrong, we will fnd a way to protect ourselves well being. When we can focus to study, then we frame ourselves that we have ADD. When we feel sad or lonely, we say we have depression! Well, just go out to get some good friends, some friends who can talk about things, who can share dreams, who can encourage one another!!!

Sometimes, I'm just very frustrated to hear that kids in the States they have too much pressure, and too many problems. Kids in US should get out of the States to see what is it out there, not the affluent countries, the poor or the in need...

2008年6月22日星期日

Walkathon

It was great! Even though it's not Excellent yet! Seeing the teenagers doing something even though they are still somehow fooling around a little, nbut they did something or the unfortunates. I am actually really proud of them. I see more lights in them.

Nothing is more important than giving up your own time for others to show them how much you care. It doesn't matter if others understand or not, we just keep doing it, and one day we may touch someone's heart.

Keep it up kids!

2008年6月9日星期一

Picnic...



It has been a long time that having picnic with teenagers. Seeing them just remind me the time back to KK...

2008年6月2日星期一

Article - excerpt from 2 Million Minutes

Two Million Minutes (Running time: 54 minutes)
THE DOCUMENTARY
Regardless of nationality, as soon as a student completes the 8th grade, the clock starts ticking. From that very moment the child has approximately -

…Two Million Minutes until high school graduation…Two Million Minutes to build their intellectual foundation…Two Million Minutes to prepare for college and ultimately career…Two Million Minutes to go from a teenager to an adult

How a student spends their Two Million Minutes - in class, at home studying, playing sports, working, sleeping, socializing or just goofing off -- will affect their economic prospects for the rest of their lives.

How do most American high school students spend this time? What about students in the rest of the world? How do family, friends and society influence a student's choices for time allocation? What implications do their choices have on their future and on a country's economic future?

This film takes a deeper look at how the three superpowers of the 21st Century - China, India and the United States - are preparing their students for the future. As we follow two students - a boy and a girl - from each of these countries, we compose a global snapshot of education, from the viewpoint of kids preparing for their future.

Our goal is to tell the broader story of the universal importance of education today, and address what many are calling a crisis for U.S. schools regarding chronically low scores in math and science indicators.

In many ways the six kids simultaneously fit and break national stereotypes.

Take Rohit in Bangalore. He is under intense pressure from his folks to get into a top engineering university but blows off steam singing with his "boy band" and dreams of sending demos out to record companies. In Shanghai we meet math whiz Xiaoyuan, who, while awaiting word from Yale to see if she gained early acceptance, tries out as a violinist for the top music conservatory in Shanghai.

In Indianapolis we go to school with Neil. The senior class president and former star quarterback who gave up football to focus more on his studies. He has cruised through school, but now, with a full academic scholarship to Purdue University, wonders if he is up to the college challenge. The other students profiled in the documentary -Ruizhang, Brittany and Apoorva - face many of these universal adolescent pressures as well.

To put these narratives in context we have assembled an array of interviews with specialists like former U.S. Secretary of Labor, Robert Reich, Congressman Bart Gordon, chair of the House Committee on Science, Harvard economist Richard Freeman as well as top Indian CEOs, and leading scientists in America.

Statistics for American high school students give rise to concern for our student's education in math and science. Less than 40 percent of U.S. students take a science course more rigorous than general biology, and a mere 18 percent take advanced classes in physics, chemistry or biology. Only 45 percent of U.S. students take math coursework beyond two years of algebra and one year of geometry. And 50 percent of all college freshmen require remedial coursework.

Meanwhile, both India and China have made dramatic leaps in educating their middle classes - each comparable in size to the entire U.S. population. Compared to the U.S., China now produces eight times more scientists and engineers, while India puts out up to three times as many as the U.S. Additionally, given the affordability of their wages, China and India are now preferred destinations for increasing numbers of multinational high-tech corporations.

Just as the Soviets' launch of a tiny satellite ignited a space race and impelled America to improve its science education, many experts feel the United States has reached its next "Sputnik moment." The goal of this film is to help answer the question: Are we doing enough with the time we have to ensure the best future for all?

THE FILMMAKERS
Executive Producer
The Two Million Minutes storyline was conceived by Robert A. Compton and he also has served as Executive Producer of the documentary. Compton has had a distinguished business career as a venture capitalist, as former President of a NYSE company, as the entrepreneur founder of four companies and as an angel investor in more than a dozen businesses. Compton has traveled the world extensively. His trips to India in 2005 and 2006 inspired him to author a blog , publish a book - Blogging Through India - and to create the documentary Two Million Minutes.

Director and Editor
Chad Heeter joined Compton on this film project in the spring of 2006, as he was completing his Master's degree in Journalism and Latin American Studies at U.C. Berkeley. Heeter has been the Senior Producer throughout the film making process.

Producer
Adam Raney joined Heeter as a Producer in January 2007. He also holds a Master's degree in Journalism and Latin American Studies from U.C. Berkeley. The two have worked as reporters and filmmakers in Latin America, Asia, Europe and the United States. Their last project together was a documentary on Brazil's landless movement for Frontline/World on PBS.org - http://www.pbs.org/frontlineworld/rough/2005/12/brazil_cutting.html

Both Heeter and Raney have been interested in education since spending two years teaching as members of Teach for America. Heeter was a high school science teacher in Georgia, and Raney taught junior high science, English and social studies in New York City. Heeter also went on to teach in Japan.

2008年5月22日星期四

Natural Disaster

It's been over a week since the first strike in China and over 2 weeks since the cyclone visited Myammar. This really makes me think what's going on now in our world. From the record, the frequncy of disaster is higher (not including the other incidents). Are there more to come, or are there more to be done from us, human being, who claimed ourselves as the ruler of the world?

In addition to these, food crisis, terrorist, protests, global warming, and lots of lots of problems are happening, and have been happening for a while. We always take for granted, and we never really care too much.

What have we as the human on this earth have learned from all these lessons?

2008年5月12日星期一

The Education System in today's world economy (part 1)


Recently have a lot of thought on our public school system even though I have noticed US is behind other countries at least 3-4 years. I am so glad that someone actually make a documentary about it.

Looking at all my students, and really hope that they will get what I mean about the Global Standard.

I hope this video will bring about the awareness of Global Education.

2008年5月9日星期五

Two Million Minutes of High School (Mandarin)


This is something that all of us who are in US need to be aware of. FOUNDATIONS!!!

Cyclone - Another Natural Disaster

Perhaps people may get "numb" after disaster by disaster, and it's never ending, and it's getting worse. Our world has more and more crisis, from human disaster - terrorist, murder, sexual abuse, family violence, virus/diseases, food shortage,and also from the Natural disasters - Cyclone, flood, tsunami, Volcano... just too many from our daily news. It's just getting worse.

Have been doing some researches on the natural disaster, and it's really scary to see that how many destroyed have been done, and how many lifes have been taken. What next? I have to ask... What next...

2008年4月25日星期五

Maths Integral Joke

One of a kind Integration!!! Any better one?

Funny Math Awnser

Some weired answers...

2008年4月23日星期三

Self-Centered

Let's continue with the discussion on the self-center generation. We actually are all more or less somewhat self-center as from my modest opinion. We all always mention ourselves first, and considering things first from ourselves first, doing things based on our own priorities first. It's nothing wrong actually, but if we do think of someone a little, that will be great! Isn't it? For example: When we enjoy our music on the train or bus, we can turn our volume a little lower. May be we enjoy the music, but people next to you not. When on the street, try not to litter since other people are using the street too.

Well, the examples above are just about when being outside, how about at home? As at home, most teenagers and young adults, they have parents who always take care of them, and yet these have lead them to not knowing how to take care of themselves and not considering others more. Why? They don't know how to clean and they don't need to help since they think these are not their jobs, just the parents works. Sounds familiar? Yes, you can see around, this may be one of our friends and even oursleves. We always take for granted and not knowing parents spend time to help us or even roommates when we are staying outside with freinds (unless all of the "staying together" don't care about the house).

We have to think more of others not just outside our own house, but also our family who always help taking care for us. Otherwise, we are just another person who spit on the street, smoking in front of others etc. Well, may be this is just a random thought, but it's important to understand that we all need to do our parts and not just saying we will change, and yet need people to remind all the time... (just too many people like this, a lot of exceuses that they can't do this and that because they have problems) Come on, everyone has his/her own problems, and yet we all have to take care of our own, and not adding up to others as burdens. No one wants to remind someone else all the time (I think I don't, I don't know who would like to be reminded that you have to change for a long time...)

It's the longest since I start writing, and just a thought when seeing so many people like this... hope is always with us...and I believe we all can be more considerate if we want to...

2008年4月18日星期五

Some Math Cartoons




These will just happened in US as far as I know. It's very interesting that when I just got into US and found that students here really ae behind in Math and Science and yet they don't know so much about themselves.
Read an article about how behind the Math and Science of the 70s - 00s Generations. It's really sad to know that it is US herself causes the trouble - some so call Educators or Psychologists thought their theories would be working and did the experiments on the innocents. The results are -- High Self-Esteem with nothing in the brain (well, just exagerate, should be at least something...) not that high self-esteem is not good, but have to be humble too at the same time.
Self-center is another problem that hold this country back in the near future. Will discuss later after tomorrow, brain dead.







2008年4月11日星期五

Tax Return and...

Finally complete filing my tax. Most people has money refund, but I have to pay (of course after deduction). This may be the last year that I do my tax filing, next year it will be more complicated. Two more to go (for friends), actually 4 to go...

It has been great for the early prayer meeting at CCHC. A great experience so far, a time to get closer to God, but somehow myself is easy to get distracted, and really still searching and learning. Being with the early morning group, it's been a blessing and this is actually a great start for the weekend! (Since my weekend is a busy one)

Last night, I was talking with a friend and all the sudden, I have a thought of providing free web classes for students from HS to colleges. However, it will not be an easy task since the course must be very friendly user and easy to understand. On top of that the students who have trouble MUST be willing to put extra miles if they are quite behind or quite weak on their foundations.

Agree with Bill Gates that the US education is way behind other countries in both Math and Science. We should do something, and yet the young generation (70s-00s born) must realize that they are (90% of this generation) behind too!

Face it or drop it!

2008年4月10日星期四

Rats...

Rat!!! Wow! We see rat in house even in the morning. How dare IT! lolz... Got to get something ready to rescue our place from being populated by human enemy, rats/mouses ( I think the only mouse that loved by most people is Mickey!)

I think everyone in NYC may have the experience to see "giant size" rats in the subway station, of course they are not as big as a "giant" like the ancestor of the rats (sown in the newspaper before - as big as a human... err...), they are as least the size of a cat, really amazing! The New Yorkers feed tham well with all the trash we have on the rails. Sometimes, I even thought that when these rats have a fight with our city cats, they may win the fight.

It doesn't matter how hugh they are, it just our human responsibilities to make sure our places are clean. As long as we don't trash, we will not be their food suppliers.

Few thoughts


Met few students on the street and on the bus. Sometimes we just wonder how fast time passed by. It's just like yesterday and yet it has been 4-7 years since they were in my class. Nothing feel better than seeing your students are doing great in colleges even though there are so many challenges ahead of them.


Have been talking to teachers and parents and knowing that WE need to help on our Education Revolution: Not just about teaching kids to become better academically (yup! it's not a secret anymore), finally I meet someone who really has the heart in our younger generations (At least have been searching for years).


Life -- it's just so much to learn...

2008年4月5日星期六

Do you smile today?



This remind me that when I was on the bus or train early in the morning (sometimes), many people just seem like having a bad start.

I just wish and pray for everyone that all of us just need to put up a smile on our faces a little... This will brighten up someone (u never know who's) day at least a little.

2008年4月4日星期五

Selfish

We are human being, that's right! And we are all SELFISH! Well, may be not all mostly...and most of the time we are selfish. I have heard people said they want to help people and they are doing a lot of great things, but somehow always mention "I, I, I..." It's very obvious especially for the younger generations. Well, this happened to everyone, I suppose.

What is selfish? Definition varies, and it is always based on personal experiences. May be someone thinks that as long as he/she doesn't interfere with others, then he/she is not selfish... well, this may not be true. Someone may say he/she has no intention to create any problem when problem happened which may cause a lot of troubles... can we categorize this as one of the "unintentional" selfish?

People always give ourselves a lot of excuses even myself, trying to pursuade ourselves that we are doing good actually we are not, we are just thinking of ourselves anyway. It's something wrong to be selfish? Yes and No! Depends on how we look at the situatian, and it's always varies... I just wish that people or more thoughtful of others, then this world will be a better place to live on, and not just talkig about having a beter place without actual actions...

Forgetful...

Is it just me? Well, can't give myself any excuses for being so forgetful for my student's appointment. It's just my laziness to call yesterday to confirm.

It has been a great and mixed week so far. Wondering what should I do next sometimes even though I know God has His Plan. It is the human nature to wonder somehow.

Well, finally I can start working on the project the I have been long for. Now it's the time to get better plan...

2008年3月27日星期四

Test Prep Center in NYC

Have a chance to talk to a few new friends who were/are working in test prep centers. It is great to know that there are still people who care. not just care about the money, especially in the field of education. Just met a lot of "teachers" who said they care about the kids, but ended up they actually care more about the $$$. It's really sad though. Teachers can't motivate students to learn, can't lead by example, and mold them to have a better behaviors and personalities... May be I'm asking too much, but it's important to show the younger generations not only the academic side, but also the "personality" side to become a more CARING person.

Kids are more self-center nowadays, even though young adults these days. Most people don't care about others even though they said they care. Well, there is a bright side too, there are people who work to create a better environment and places for people to understand we actually can help and change...

Getting Started

It's almost the end of another month. Time has never been waiting at all. This really remind me a song that called "Time, wait for me." - "Shi Jian, deng deng wo" in Mandarin. Even though can't run faster than time, at least just feel great to accomplish something during the week. Future direction becomes clearer now as time passed by. A lot of questions...still. However, life is just great!